Wild Card Time! So What About this God Person?
Rolled a 3 (Beliefs) and a 21 (Have your feelings about God changed over time?)
Whoa… Religious discourse on a Sunday from me… who would have thunk it?
Have your feelings about God changed over time?
I’ll try to make this brief, since it is the sabbath. My relationship with religion has always been interesting. You see I was raised in the midwest (up until around first grade) and I recall Sunday school, but not much else. The family then moved to Northern California. From this point onward, I don’t recall anything dealing with church or a familial belief in God. Oh sure there were times when the Lord’ name was used in vane, but for the most part- nothing.
Growing up every so often, my mom would want to go to church, those high holidays, but nothing regular. To emphasize this, I was 13 when I was baptized. My little brother had just been born and my mom wanted him baptized- I joke that there must have been a BOGO at the church. 🙄 She thought about becoming more involved, but that never really happened until later.
When I left for college, my parents decided to return to the church, so I was 18, came home and all of sudden Sunday became church day. They got really involved in the whole thing joining the vestry and other stuff that I didn’t understand.
That may be the biggest thing- I still don’t get it and being an introvert, and anxious church is a bit daunting. When do you stand? When do you sit? What do you say when? My parents always acted like it was no big deal, but… getting it wrong- was that disrespectful? The 12th Scout Law - A Scout is Reverent always meant to me that you are respectful of others beliefs. Honor what others believe in, even if you don’t. I didn’t want to look out of place or stand out anymore than a “new guy” would at a service. Not being raised in that kind of weekly ritual, makes it very… scary. So this has shaped my feelings towards God.
First, do I believe in a supreme being? My father had to write a note to the Eagle review board about this when I was up for Eagle Scout. He wrote two versions- one serious and the other sarcastic (you wonder where I get it?). Since the beginning (although it has been hard to put into words) I think I have believed in something. There are too many things that don’t make sense to make me think it’s all biology. Beauty, creativity, love… mysteries that just don’t have a grounding in reality. As for Science- I’m a big supporter- but a friend of mine once said- “God’s greatest gift was evolution.”
Personally - If there is a God, then there probably is judgement when we die. My thoughts have evolved into a belief that if you do something wrong, you will be judged. So, unless it is something egregious it will happen then. There is no reason for scarlet letters, or arguments over interpretations of mythology- what is written in Leviticus, or Matthew, or Biff doesn’t matter. Just be nice to people that’s what I think God would want. Which makes the world we live in weird. It seems that the majority of those people who believe in God and religion don’t believe in forgiveness, or being nice. They pick and choose what to believe and have organized around those beliefs. Hence I can believe in God (the George Burns version is one I particularly like) and not believe in an organized system of belief. My mother found solace in going to church each Sunday- good for her. I worship, by just trying to be kind, and then kicking myself when I’m not. I don’t need to give money to some guy in Gucci loafers talking about how non-believers are an abomination. How will I be judged? I have made mistakes, I’ve tried the best I can with the cards I’ve been dealt and the baggage I carry. Oh, I try to always be nice to cats.
This is based on the Wild Card podcast by Rachel Martin on NPR. Thanks for the inspiration.